You send us the query + schema (no data leaves your side — we work on a structure-only clone). A human DBA sends back the exact CREATE INDEX or rewrite that fixes it, with a plan diff you can read, commit, and ship.
# a real review (Postgres 15, 12M rows, Rails app) you@you $ qd submit ./slow_query.sql ./schema.sql --deadline 24h → accepted. ticket QD-0184. expert: Pat (12y PG, ex-Heroku data) qd-0184 reply from Pat @ 9h 42m # root cause: seq scan on orders_items (8.2M rows) — predicate on (status, tenant_id) # the existing single-column index on tenant_id is not selective enough after tenancy growth -- CURRENT SELECT ... FROM orders_items WHERE tenant_id = $1 AND status = 'pending' -- FIX (30% dead tuples — run during low-traffic window; reindex optional) CREATE INDEX CONCURRENTLY idx_orders_items_tenant_status ON orders_items (tenant_id, status) WHERE status IN ('pending','processing'); ⚠ write-path impact: ~3ms per INSERT on this table (measured against your schema). worth it: query drops from 1,820ms → 4ms at p95. rollback plan: DROP INDEX CONCURRENTLY if regression detected. delivered in 9h 42m · $150 flat fee · invoice QD-0184 attached
Send the query + schema. Skip the data. A human fixes it. No autonomous AI in the loop because you don’t want an AI touching your migration.
Drop in your slow query, schema dump (pg_dump --schema-only), and pg_stat_statements row. We never see your data.
A senior DBA (minimum 8 years, Postgres focus) loads your schema on a clone and diagnoses the plan. Median delivery: under 12 hours.
Exact SQL fix — index DDL or query rewrite — with write-path impact, rollback plan, and the p95 latency measured on your schema shape.
There are AI tools that suggest indexes. They also suggest bad indexes. Here’s what an expert-in-the-loop catches.
Every index speeds reads and slows writes. We measure it. Datadog tells you the query is slow; we tell you what it will cost to fix.
Often the real fix is a partial index on a small slice of rows. LLMs default to the obvious full index and bloat your write path.
Sometimes the query is fine and the ORM is the problem (N+1, lazy loading). A human reads the generated SQL shape. Autonomous AI can’t.
We default to CREATE INDEX CONCURRENTLY with explicit lock-wait analysis. Never ship a fix that holds an AccessExclusive lock on a hot table.
Our review surface is DDL + query log + pg_stat_statements. Your row data stays on your side. This is why we pass vendor security review.
Every fix ships as a Git-ready diff with measured impact. You commit, PR-review, and deploy — we never push to your repo.
Flat fees. No seats. No “database size” surcharges. The retainer tiers move faster and lock in expert capacity — but nothing here is a subscription trap.
Best for trying us. Submit one slow query, get the fix in under 24 hours.
For teams with more than one slow query a quarter. 2 reviews/mo, priority queue.
For data-heavy SaaS with weekly performance pressure. 5 reviews, same-day priority.
No. We work from a schema-only dump (pg_dump --schema-only), the slow query text, and a pg_stat_statements row. No customer rows, no PII, no audit-log headaches. This is deliberate — it’s why we pass most SOC2-adjacent vendor review in an afternoon.
Because autonomous query optimizers will happily suggest a composite index that destroys your write path, or a rewrite that changes result semantics on NULL handling. A human DBA catches these. We’re not competing with AI — we’re the expert-in-the-loop layer that ships an AI fix safely.
11 through 17. We’ve done reviews on Aurora, RDS, Supabase, self-hosted, Heroku Postgres, and Neon. If you’re on something exotic, ask first.
Median in Q1 2026 was 9h 20min from submit to delivered diff. The 95th percentile was 21h. Priority queue (Retainer Pro) has a median of 2h 40min.
You get a second look, free. We iterate until it works or we tell you honestly why it won’t (sometimes the real answer is “upgrade your instance” or “this table should be partitioned” — we’ll say so). If we can’t fix it and say so on the first review, you pay nothing.
Senior Postgres consultants bill $300–$600/hour. A gnarly slow-query diagnosis typically takes 2–4 hours of their time. $150 flat for us is a deliberate undercut — it’s the pitch. We keep overhead low because we work off schema only and the delivery format is tight.
Concierge-mode beta: first 30 teams to submit a real slow query get the fix free. Tell us what you’re running and we’ll reach out within 24 hours.